The Ballad of H. Keith Hunt

Morris B. Holbrook, Columbia University
[ to cite ]:
Morris B. Holbrook (2001) ,"The Ballad of H. Keith Hunt", in NA - Advances in Consumer Research Volume 28, eds. Mary C. Gilly and Joan Meyers-Levy, Valdosta, GA : Association for Consumer Research, Pages: 6.

Advances in Consumer Research Volume 28, 2001     Page 6

THE BALLAD OF H. KEITH HUNT

Morris B. Holbrook, Columbia University

(Sung to the Tune of "I’m an Old Cow Hand," With Apologies to Johnny Mercer)

I am H. Keith Hunt.

I’m from Brigham Young.

We don’t drink or smoke,

But we still have fun

When we root real loud for the football team,

And we fight hard for the American Dream,

And we drown our sorrows in

    Russell’s "Bear Claw" ice cream.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

I am Hunt, H. Keith;

And I’m really sweet

When old friends I greet

Or new folks I meet.

I have dabbled discreetly in politics.

I have gotten rich with my courtroom shticks.

I have taught my students some marketing tricks.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

Now I shall explore

What the "H" stands for.

It stands for a name

I don’t use no more.

I have kept it secret for many a year.

When my friends ask, I pretend not to hear.

And I’m not telling you; so have no fear.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

You can call me Keith,

And Keith needs relief,

'Cause my job’s too big C

Way beyond belief.

For the past two decades, I’ve been on top C

Running ACR like a traffic cop.

Now it’s got gridlock; so I’m gonna stop.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

Since Nineteen-Eighty-Two,

I’ve been here for you,

Serving ACR,

With devotion true.

I’ve been calculating the annual dues

And writing blurbs for the ACR News.

When I think about it, I get the blues.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

Now I’m gonna quit,

'Cause I’m sick of it.

Someone else can be

The Executive Secretary.

I am tired of collecting the membership fees

And of licking stamps for

    eighteen hundred addressees.

So I’m now gonna do just what I please.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

So I say "Au Revoir"

To the ACR C

Where I’ve run the show,

Where I’ve been a star.

I’ll learn blue-grass songs on my new banjo.

I’ll get front-row seats at the rodeo.

And I’ll grab my partner and do-si-do.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

 

With this chance I’ve got,

I’ll travel 'round a lot.

And I’ll always stay

At the Marriott.

I shall plumb the depths of the tourist action.

And with expertise based on long reflection,

I’ll achieve full customer satisfaction.

Yippy I O Ki Ay, Yippy I O Ki Ay.

----------------------------------------